In a Tizzy

Author: In a Tizzy

  • Me and the Blog

    Me and the Blog

    I hail from Western Canada and go by the pronouns she and her(s). I am part of a web of family, friends, school, coast, country, and feminist, anti-racist thinkers. My happy place usually contains chocolate, a camera, and my loved ones.

    *****

    My blog started as a platform for sharing reviews for the 2014 hot chocolate festival and grew into a bit of a public, online journal. Now, I hope that it will continue to be a way for me to share my stories, but through a more refined lens that focuses in on a few key values of mine: Food, feminist thinking, and photography.

    While I am neither a renowned scholar of the gender, race, sexuality, and social justice field nor a professional photographer, these are things that rejuvenate and invigorate me, and I hope to find energy and inspiration through engaging with these pieces in my blog. I also hope to find ways to connect all of my passions with one of my greater loves – people.

    When I can combine any of the things I do – eating, helping, photographing, exploring – I find great joy in sharing those moments with others. With that, I offer an idea of why the blog is named as such: an attempt to capture moments amidst life’s motion.

  • Thinking about Caitlyn Jenner

    There has been a lot of stir (already dying down now) about Caitlyn Jenner making her debut in her new body and with her new name, which she appears to feel are finally in line with her mind after all of these years.

    I follow many intersectional and anti-racist feminist thinkers and groups online and read about others in books and news articles – most of them have felt compelled to comment in one way or another on Caitlyn Jenner’s Vanity Fair unveiling. As I am making an effort to critically think about and share my thoughts about these increasingly relevant and important and talked-about occurrences, I thought I would add my small voice to the online conversation.

    My thoughts on Jenner’s move are, in short, these: She has done what is fulfilling for her in a way that allows her millions of fans to be aware of this change in her appearance and name, and I think that those are good things.

    When I consider the conversations that have occurred, I return to a recurring thought that I have after having studied gender, race, sexuality, and social justice, and in my own non-academic life: There is no 100%, sure-fire, make-everyone-happy way to do anything, particularly in circles of critical, feminist thinkers. 

    That’s a good thing! 

    Usually.

    Critically analyzing events and approaching them with an intersectional frame of mind (intersectionality: the study of intersections between forms or systems of oppression, domination or discrimination) challenges us to not take information at face value, and to consider the deeper meanings and implications of what we have seen, heard, or done. It can be mentally tiring to think of the world this way on a regular basis, but it is important to do so because it makes us more able to connect with others because we do not merely assume that our experiences are the same as someone else’s. Further, we become more complex and empathetic to others by allowing ourselves to open up to new ways of knowing, living, thinking, and experiencing the world.

    Sometimes, it seems that the tendency to think this way leads to a nearly constant problematization of the whole world, and no event can escape our minds unscathed by considerations of all of the ways it could have a negative impact. This is where I have found myself frustrated by certain conversations about Caitlyn Jenner. An incredibly wealthy, famous, and Caucasian individual choosing to transition is not a representative experience of most trans* individuals. For that reason, the publicity received by Jenner and the widespread praise are difficult to embrace by anyone who has struggled with similar or related experiences.

    Despite the unlikely circumstances of being able to transition in a very expensive and widely-praised manner, Jenner’s experience is her own and is one unique experience in the world that happens to be very public as well. While I do not think that Jenner should be the standard of what trans* individual is expected to be, I think that the publicity of what a transition entails for one individual is important in normalizing the experience and concept of transitioning/transgressing overall. An individual who was born in the most privileged body there is – a White male’s – chose to act on a life-long knowledge that the body they were born into was not the one that matched their mind and spirit, and left that incongruent body behind to pursue greater self-fulfillment.

    Jenner’s transition does not represent the extremely diverse range of transitions that many individuals go through, but it is an example of one person’s multi-decade struggle with the feeling that their body is not the one that will lead to maximizing her sense of wholeness.

    While we cannot assume that all experiences will be the same based on this one example – in the way someone looks when transitioning, what it means to transition, how easy it is for someone to transition in a practical and psychological sense – I think that it is important to embrace it. Embrace the conversations that have started, the acceptance of Caitlyn Jenner expressed by so many, and the figure that many other, younger trans* or queer individuals can look to and think, “She did what was right for her, maybe I can do what is right for me.” Those things are worth embracing, I think. The only downfall could be that Caitlyn Jenner assumes her experience is representative of all experiences, or that she does not embrace the powerful position she is in to make change possible for so many others who do not share her resources in life.

    My hope is that Caitlyn will take full advantage of her powerful new role as a figure in the trans* community, which has been thrust upon her by virtue of being in the spotlight, and make life better for many others who have struggled, are struggling, and will struggle.

  • Being Cognizant: Budgeting

    The first post in a series about the ways I work towards being cognizant through decisions that make me more mentally engaged with various facets of my day-to-day life.

    Cognizance (noun): Awareness, realization, notice, knowledge, perception.

    —-

    In recent months, I have taken on the task of budgeting all of my expenses along with my income on a monthly basis. A budget (noun) is “an estimate, often itemized, of expected income and expense for a given period in the future.” So, to budget (verb) is to plan for certain amounts of money to be earned and spent, and then keep track of what is actually earned and spent (at least that’s how I have defined my budgeting experience).

    I started my budgeting adventure with an… idealistic… mindset of how much money I thought I would be spending on things such as groceries, school supplies, gas for my car, dining out, etc. However, as some guides on how to get started with a budget might tell you, your expenses might not be so simple to predict. As a student who lives away from home but receives financial support from parents, my budgets are not often too scary to approach because I am secure in knowing that if my job fell through or I had to drop a lot of money on one big item and it set me back for a month, I would not be without help. However, budgeting helps me set realistic goals that align with my desires to save money, live comfortably and independently (to some extent), and to be aware of my spending and do some reflection on how I use my money.

    For others that do not have the financial support of parents or other folks, budgeting can be really useful for setting goals to alleviate the stresses of being financially “strapped” (i.e., not having a lot of extra funds once basics are paid off). Creating a budget can help you visualize what money you have coming in, what you need to spend money on, and what you want to spend money on (on a weekly, monthly, yearly basis). Being able to visualize where your money goes can lead to greater monthly savings, more effective allocation of funds (such as phone bills and groceries), and opportunities to treat yo’ self!

    An example of treating oneself upon realizing that
    one’s budget is CLEAR FOR EXTRA SPENDING!


    If you haven’t done so already, take some time to research how to set up a simple budget, and start collecting your receipts! Alternatively, you may want to try tracking your spending by writing down your expenses, keeping an ongoing record on your phone, or using a mobile app – such as Mint – that can break down your expenses as they come out of your bank account.

    Take control of your life in this capitalist world – make a budget!
    (Or let me know if you have another idea.)

  • ‘Tis the Season… For Farmers Markets!

    A personal goal for this summer is to attend as many farmers markets as I am reasonably able to, because I love how it feels to be supporting local growers and buying ethically-sourced food and goods!

    Here is a (growing) list of farmers markets I hope to attend:
    • West End
      • Saturdays, 9:00AM – 2:00PM, May 30 – October 24
    • Kitsilano
      • Sundays, 10:00AM – 2:00PM, May 10 – October 25
    • Main St. Station
      • Wednesdays, 4:00PM – 6:00PM, June 3 – October 7
    • Kerrisdale
      • Saturdays, 10:00AM – 2:00PM, June 13 – October 10
    • Mt. Pleasant
      • Sundays, 10:00AM – 2:00PM, June 14 – October 11
    • Yaletown
      • Thursdays, 2:00PM – 6:00PM, May 7 – October 29
    • Oak St.
      • Wednesdays, 3:00PM – 7:00PM, June 3 – October 14
    • UBC Saturday Market
      • Saturdays, 9:00AM – 1:00PM, June 13 – October
    • UBC Tuesday Market
      • Tuesdays, 4:00PM – 6:00PM, June 23 – October
    • UBC Wednesday Market
      • Wednesdays, 11:30AM – 1:30PM, June 10 – October

  • Take a Moment to Reflect When You Get "The Feels"

    Three weeks ago I started a new summer job at my university working in an office that focuses on enriching each student experience through various involvement opportunities. In my short time here, I’ve had unexpected moments of being hit right in the feels.

    “Pardon me, did you say ‘the feels’?”

    Yes! The feels are experienced as moments where you feel a flood of emotion, through your mind and body, that impacts you in some meaningful way. This emotional flood can usually be categorized as being in the realm of sadness, joy, awe, or some tangent of those. For example, you might get the feels when you see an elderly couple holding hands as they walk down the street together, or perhaps when you hear about the passing of a friend’s beloved pet. Those kind of events just get you right in the feels. They might be small moments that only you feel, or they could be big events that are experienced by many but that have impacted you in a unique way.

    When you’re feeling those feels, it’s probably because something has resonated with you in a meaningful way, and I think you need to take a moment to reflect on it. Reflecting on these moments might give you some insight into what your passions are, what your talents are, or where you want to take your next step towards. To reflect on the feels you have experienced and to help uncover their meaning, ask yourself a few questions.

    What?
    What was it that provoked the feels? What happened RIGHT before you were hit right in the feels? Was there a particular aspect of the event/person/sound/etc. that provoked it, or was it the experience as a whole? Is it the thing you are acting upon (doing), or are you being acted upon (receiving)?

    How?
    How did the feels get you? Did they get you in a sad way, or in a way that made you feel more alive than you ever have before? How are you experiencing the feels (i.e., how do you feel)? How did the feels manage to slip into your experience at this moment?

    When?
    Did a particular time of day play any part in what is happening? Are you feeling the way you do because it is before dawn breaks, or is it right at noon and the rain is falling and the skies are dark? Is this particular moment one that has come at an opportune or especially relevant time in your life?

    Who?
    Has a person evoked the feels in you? Or is it a particular aspect of who YOU are that is being impacted by what is happening? Could these feels be coming from the part of you that you’ve never had the chance to really engage with before? Who are you in the moment that these feels got to you?

    Where?
    Similar to the “when”, the where may point you to what is dictating these particular feels. Where are you as the feels hit you – are you sitting down? Standing up? Are you indoors or outdoors? Are your feet on the ground? Do you find yourself in a particular building/city/country/urban/rural/uninhabited place?

    Why?
    Oh yes, the why. Why are you experiencing the feels right now, in this place, in this way, as you are? Why did this instance strike a chord in you that felt different than all of the other chords that have been struck across your lifetime?  There have been many meaningful moments for you, but why is this one standing out to you? Is it what you are doing? Are you receiving some sort of news or information? Is this moment an unexpected opportunity that is terrifying but thrilling all at once? Why do you care about this moment and why are you trying to decipher it?

    Sometimes these moments come up in mundane situations that do not speak to a greater purpose, but sometimes the feels get you in a way that seem to indicate you have uncovered something significant. It could be the direction you want to work in your career, or the place you want to move to, or the unplanned trip you want to take. The feels could even point you towards a new hobby.

    Embrace planned happenstance, a term that refers to being prepared to be adaptable and flexible in an unpredictable world that might throw you a curve ball (that might be worth catching). Planned happenstance means doing all you can to prepare yourself for whatever your goal might be, but being ready to roll with the punches when those random events that are beyond your control inevitably occur.

    Don’t just let the feels get away from you – if you stop to consider them for even a moment, they must mean something. They may indicate something as small as a practice you can engage in each day to bring you peace of mind, or they could be guiding you towards the best thing you can’t even imagine yet.

  • Hairy Woman, Walking Down the Street…

    I have a feeling that “Oh, Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison is far more successful than my Hairy Woman rendition would have been.

    Hair is an interesting thing for us human creatures – the way it grows differently across our bodies, the way that we can change its presentation with chemicals and tools, and the unique ways we socialize people to think of their hair in gendered, racialized, and negative ways.

    In November of 2014, I participated in Movember by not shaving my legs instead of growing a moustache (simply because I cannot grow one – otherwise I am certain that I would). This act snowballed into a personal project of leaving hair on other areas of my body to just be for a little while. It has taken time for me to adjust to my legs having hair, since I have been socialized to enjoy the aesthetic and feel of bare, smooth legs – part of me wants to say, “I actually just like it that way, though! I wasn’t socialized to.” However, I know the power of socialization, and that it is the reason that I, along with with many other female/woman-identified individuals, feel that it is the best way my legs could look. Simultaneously, most male/man-identified individuals do not feel self-conscious about having hair on their legs (even the ultra-hairy fellas – though they do sometimes get flack for chest hair).

    The opportunity to bring it up with people has been enjoyable, as some that are closer to me have been comfortable enough to point out, “So you’re not shaving your legs?” or, “Are those hairy legs I see?” and I am able to say, “Yeah, I’m challenging the discourse that my legs are unattractive with hair on both a personal and societal level.”

    It is still something that makes me a bit shy, but I am gradually becoming used to my new-kind-of-soft legs – it is the fear of people I know more personally thinking strangely of it that gets to me, but strangers can think whatever they like – hopefully they’ll think, “Whoa, that’s awesome, I should also not have my decisions dictated too much by cultural norms!”

    Of course, choosing to do whatever you want is what I think you should be comfortable doing when it comes to your body. This post is about how I’ve chosen to challenge the reasons behind my previous habits and figure out what I truly want and not what I’ve internalized as others wanting.

  • HoChos 20, 21

    Saying good-bye is difficult, and I am an emotional person.

    This festival has been a great deal of photographic and palatable fun! It is always a pleasure to connect and re-connect with people through hot chocolate adventures during the festival weeks, and I love having the project of visiting the *locations each year.

    * I should note that I decided not to visit two locations due to the drinks offered, as they did not align with my diet or morals very obviously (crickets on hocho?!).

    Leading up to one of my favourite days of the year – Valentine’s Day – I wrapped up my festival journey with two more delectable stops.

    HoCho #20: Brownie Delight, Chez Christophe (~$8.70)


    I had been waiting quite some time for the opportunity to sample this hot chocolate, named after one of the most chocolaty treats one can hope to enjoy – the brownie! With almond milk in the mix, my drink was blended to delicious, smooth, chocolaty perfection – a rather dark chocolaty perfection, I might add.

    The time of day, good company with AE, and two beautifully-crafted drinks inspired a great deal of photography taking place at Chez Christophe…

     AE enjoyed a milkier Christella Decadence with a sphere of Chez Christophe’s hazelnut cream – imagine a Ferrero Rocher going into your hot chocolate, if you will…



    HoCho #21: Adults Only, Diva at the Met (~ $8.25)


    Here we are… The final stop.

    At the end of my hot chocolate festival journey, I found myself sitting in a classy establishment known as Diva at the Met, located in the Metropolitan Hotel. Seated in the lounge, my company and I ordered both festival options: Adults Only, and Sizzling Spice.


    To meet high demand, and to achieve the envisioned taste of the specialty chef that created the drinks throughout the festival, the drinks were prepared in advance with dairy milk. However, I could not turn back in my journey – so I took on one quarter of the beverage with another quarter taken on by my partner-in-chocolate.

    Adults Only was an incredibly smooth hot chocolate served with a matcha green tea cake (cute-sized), with a chocolate disc placed atop the beverage – in the middle of this disc was a chocolate sphere containing Bailey’s (hence, adults only). As the steam from the hot chocolate rose and warmed the disc…


    Ker-plunk!

    After the Bailey’s addition, the drink reached a new level of smooth drinking (and later, stomach aches) – it was delicious! We could not stop saying “WOW!” throughout our small chocolaty excursion at this festival stop.



    It has been a wonderful hot chocolate season as I wrap up
    my third round of festival going and my second round of
    truly dedicated festival reviewing and exploration.
    Hopefully, at next year’s festival, I will have an opportunity
    to win one of the festival prizes for their photography contests!

    Further, and perhaps most significantly,
    it is my pleasure to have contributed to the
    projects and mission of East Van Roasters in supporting
    women from the Rainier Hotel in Vancouver.

  • HoChos 17, 18, 19, 20



    HoCho #17: Rainforest, Bel Café (~ $8.00)


    I enjoyed this beverage in good company on a very, very rainy Vancouver evening. With the clock reminding us that only 20 minutes remained to complete our drink, we dove in – me with my whipped-creamless concoction, and my comrades with their colour-topped artistries, so-called the Rainforest by Bel Cafe.

    The whipped cream featured on my friend’s drink in the main photograph was mango-flavoured, and described as tasting like mango ice cream or gelato. Beneath that was a warm, dark cocoa with the slightest hints of tropical fruit (I ordered mine with almond milk, and I believe this covered some of the fruity flavours that would have otherwise been more detectable). 

    A florentine flavoured with nuts and dry mango came with the drink, and was deliciously chewy and crunchy, and served as a nice pause in the sipping experience of this festival stop.


    HoCho #18: Miss Scarlet’s Pecan Pie, Gem Chocolates (~ $6.25)


    Gem Chocolates offered a pecan pie-flavoured hot chocolate for the third week of the hot chocolate festival, and the pecan flavour came through with strength!

    There were notable particles of pecan throughout the hot chocolate, particularly near the bottom, and it was a milky chocolate ganache (a bit too much for my stomach, in the end). Caramel added to the smooth drinking, and was also featured in the the special festival topping along with pecan praline. 

    A simply delectable treat for the lactose tolerant.





    HoCho #19: PO-TAY-TO PO-TAH-TO, Soirette Macaron & Tea (~ $7.23)


    I must say – this was delicious.

    Speaking as someone whose nickname (by some) has potato in it, I was eager to try this purple potato hot chocolate – because it sounds crazy! Seated in the pristine whiteness of Soirette Macaron & Tea, he and I ordered a raspberry macaroon cake and the festival special.

    It had a light chocolate flavour, with a surprisingly pleasant potato undertone on the front of the tongue! Cinnamon was also detected at the back of the tongue, and added to the interesting (but successful) mixture of flavours.

    Lining the mug was a sweet purple sugar that added to each sip, and that I shamelessly licked off entirely at the end of the drink. A toasted yam marshmallow was served with the beverage – I indulged in the inner yam filling while my company enjoyed the toasted marshmallow. 

    This savoury hot chocolate set-up won my heart, for sure!


    HoCho #20: This is Nuts, Thomas Haas (~ $6.50)

    My second stop to Thomas Haas for this festival was done with urging from a friend: “The other hot chocolate from Thomas Haas? Would kill for.” I obviously had to give it a shot.

    MS and I made our way back to Thomas Haas for the second time to battle the line-ups and grab a table inside before anyone could tell us otherwise. We requested “This Is Nuts” with almond milk, and awaited the calling of our names.
    “This Is Nuts” is a milkier chocolate blended with almond butter and hazelnut (if you don’t already know, Nutella is a chocolate and hazelnut blend… so use your imagination there), so while I did not drink very much of it, the flavours were ah-mazing! It was smooth with a nutty tone throughout the entire drink, which gave it a “rougher” taste – does that make any sense….?

    Alongside the drink, we received a “financier sandwich” that had “hasselnut” cream in it and little textured candies on top – it was soft and the little candies added a *crunch* that satisfied the tastebuds.



  • HoChos 13, 14, 15, and 16

    I think that my eyes have become a deeper, more rich and decadent brown colour since mid-January.

    Look into my eyes and its easy to see – one and one makes chocolate, and two and one makes chocolate, it was destinyyyy. (Tenacious D remix)

    HoCho #13: Ed’s Favourite, Shokolade Artisan Chocolate ($5.25)


    The trek out to East Vancouver is worth it for a second year of the festival! With four amigos in tow, I visited Shokolade Artisan Chocolate for my 14th cocoa. This year, the location offered four flavours, presumably named after employees that chose them as their favourites! Ed, Jane, Alex, and Judy’s “favourites” were available, and all but poor Alex were sampled by our crew.

    I personally indulged in an almond-milk “Ed’s Favourite” which was a blend of 70% cocoa and raspberry puree. Upon first sip, the raspberry made its debut, introducing a tanginess that rose above the darkness and richness of the thick chocolatey milk.


    On this particular trip, something happened that had not occurred this year during the festival: I became saturated with chocolate. An off day meant that I could not complete the entire drink – not because of any flavour complaints, but simply because I was full and the chocolate was rich enough that I did not guzzle it right up (as is often the norm…).

    Jane’s Favourite: White chocolate with
    coconut cream blended in.
    Alongside the drink was a raspberry praline, which was superb! A dark chocolate shell with light raspberry cream in the middle (in the shape of a heart!) was a sweet little treat to go with the drink. 
    I recommend this stop if you want variety, are with a few friends, or (specific to my drink) you like dark chocolate.


    HoCho #14: The Dominican, Thierry ($10.24)


    Thierry is nestled downtown and is the sort of establishment that lets you know what you will be walking into once you cross its threshold – clean, minimalistic, wooden, modern, and brown (like its chocolate!).

    JS and I enjoyed this simple hot chocolate drink with a fancy chocolate treat on the side, called a “Tonka Bean cream Choux” (something I let the chocolate folks behind the counter pronounce on my behalf when ordering).

    Truthfully, I do not have a huge review for the drink itself, as it was a fairly simplistic beverage. However, it was not overly sweet, and was light to drink. The serving size was ideal, and the milk foamed to perfection; I also enjoyed how the drink was served, particularly the glass it was served in (does anyone know where I can get one of these?!).

    I think my favourite part of this was the cream Choux on the side – it was a perfect little morsel to chew on while telling stories and watching the rain fall with a warm drink at hand.

    HoCho #15: Triple Ginger-Spiced Hot Chocolate, Last Crumb Bakery & Cafe (~$7.09)


    Heading down to Main Street is always an enjoyable experience, and stopping by the Last Crumb Bakery & Cafe makes it way better.
    Of the two options for this year’s festival, my company and I decided upon the triple-ginger spiced hot chocolate with soy milk. The ginger was strong throughout the drink, but did not overwhelm the taste buds, as it was blended smoothly with the chocolate and, I believe, absorbed into the creamy soy milk in a most-pleasant way.
    Accompanying the chocolate concoction was an apricot “sconescotti.” Somewhere between a scone and biscotti, this little treat had chunks of apricot throughout and a chewy texture that made you savour it and take time to go “mmmmm.”


    HoCho #16: Earl Grey Hot Chocolate, French Made Baking ($4.25)

    As I made my way to French Made Baking on this day’s festival adventure, I was anticipating trying their “Only Thyme Will Tell” beverage: a hot chocolate infused with thyme and orange, served with a macaron. Unfortunately, due to the time required to infuse the thyme, the drink mixture is prepared in advance and is made with dairy milk – so I was unable to try the beverage that had me salivating before I even arrived at their doorstep!

    To my pleasure, another drink was made for me (that appears to have been removed from their festival menu) that involved infusing early grey tea into a dark hot chocolate, which was made with soy milk especially for me! The tea made the drink light, as the standard earl grey flavours (a little bit of black tea magic, some flowery overtones…) lifted the weight off of the tongue while drinking it.

    Why haven’t I been mixing tea and chocolate all the time?